Buying Guide: Time to Play
Finding joy, connection, and meaningful activities for someone living with Alzheimer's or dementia.
Spending time with a loved one who has Alzheimer's or another form of dementia can be challenging, especially as their world gradually becomes smaller. Familiar hobbies may become difficult; conversations may wander and stretches of unstructured time can leave everyone feeling restless. Boredom, frustration, and anxiety can affect both the person living with dementia and those caring for them. But shared activities, even very simple ones, can bring pleasure to an ordinary day.
Resistance! When Play Feels Childish
Has your loved one rolled their eyes, ignored your suggestion, or seemed insulted when you brought out a game or a "toy"? You're trying to make the day a little brighter, and instead you're met with resistance. Sometimes it's a parent protecting the dignity of a spouse. Sometimes it's the belief that games and toys are for children. And sometimes the activity itself may feel frustrating, unfamiliar, or too difficult. Whatever the reason, don't make it a battle. Try sitting down and beginning the activity yourself. Demonstrate without instructing. Leave room for curiosity and let them join when they're ready. You might be surprised by what happens when the pressure to participate disappears.
The goal isn't to get someone to play correctly. It's to find a moment you can enjoy together.
And if an activity doesn't appeal to them? That's fine. Try something else another day.
Encouraging Active Participation
During the middle stages of dementia, many people can still enjoy activities they have loved for years, although they may need a little more structure, encouragement, or assistance.
Changes in vision and dexterity may make familiar hobbies more challenging. But sometimes a small adjustment is all that's needed.
Games and Puzzles: Matching card games, large-piece jigsaw puzzles, and word searches offer opportunities for concentration, conversation, and a sense of accomplishment. Choose activities that match current abilities rather than insisting on completing a difficult puzzle. Activity book sets can provide variety throughout the week. These listed items are least challenging but adjust for your home.
Music and Dance: A familiar melody may bring a smile, encourage movement, or create a connection when conversation has become difficult. Playing jazz music in the background one might hear in a beautiful restaurant, or try soundtracks to familiar musicals, or whatever style suited enjoyable days, play. If your loved one has a collection of favorite records, bring them out and enjoy them on a turntable. Turntables are back! The experience of choosing a record and listening together may be just as meaningful as the music itself.
Daily Tasks with Purpose: Folding towels, sorting photographs, arranging flowers, preparing vegetables, or helping with a simple recipe can provide familiarity and a sense of purpose. A magnetic refrigerator whiteboard or wall-mounted planning board can help organize the week and make daily activities more predictable. Keep the schedule simple. Even ordinary plans—watering plants, listening to music, or enjoying an afternoon walk—can provide pleasant structure.
Adapting to Changing Abilities
As dementia progresses, complex activities may become frustrating or difficult to follow. But the enjoyment of color, texture, music, movement, and companionship remain.
Pay attention to the time of day when your loved one is most comfortable and attentive. Short, flexible activities are often more successful than elaborate plans.
Arts and Crafts: Less range of motion and dexterity doesn't mean it isn't fun. Reuseable watercolor is mess free and easy anywhere.
Pets and Therapy Animals: The presence of a gentle pet or therapy dog can reduce stress, provide companionship, and offer an emotional connection. Alternatively, dare i say it, stuffed animals can be a familiar comfort like a favorite cuddle pillow while the simple act of petting can be soothing and reassuring.
Animatronic Pets: I do NOT recommend animatronic pets available today. They move oddly and will not encourage the comfort they are intended to provide. However, in the works is Tombot. A product of the Jim Henson's Creature Shop (muppets). The pets are waiting list only, see site to register. It's weird but every weird idea is on the table now.
Picture Books and Memory Albums: Photo albums filled with familiar faces or themed picture books can encourage conversation and spark recognition. Search out and collect photo albums to have in reach.
Balloon Toss: Surprisingly fun to do, keeping a balloon in the air and playing catch encourages activity and relaxation. Thicker balloons recommended. Incorporate a racket or half sized pool noodle to bat them around. This is a silly, playful, and physically positive thing to do.
Fidget Toys and Sensory Items: Soft fabrics, textured balls, or busy boards with zippers and buttons can provide comfort and keep hands occupied. Note that some fidget toys can be small and look edible, be alert to this. And some can be too juvenile, much of what you see online for elderly is just too silly. Think instead of busy hands. Be imaginative, like sorting a yarn ball is weirdly soothing.
Nature and Gardening: Tending to plants, watering flowers, or simply sitting outside can be soothing and grounding. Added value of Vitamin D.
The Power of Presence
Regardless of the stage, one of the most valuable things you can offer a loved one with dementia is your presence. Even when words fail, a warm smile, a soft touch, or sitting together in silence can provide a sense of security and love.
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